When cyberbullying goes too far…
On the subject I broached last night on parent supervision of adolescents online, here comes a story where even parent supervision failed in the end. First the St. Charles Journal broke the story, then CNN and ABC News reported on the story of 13 year old girl who after being taunted and defamed online, committed suicide. It turns out that the person who everyone thought had taunted her, a 16 year old boy on MySpace, was really the mother of a girl that Megan Meier had once been friends with. This woman had created a fake account in order to befriend Megan just so that in the end she could be hurtful to her.
Megan’s parents knowing their daughter’s history of depression, ADD, and weight problems, kept a watchful eye on Megan while she was online. Only they knew the password to her account and her profile was set to private so that all friend requests had to first be approved before anyone could see it. Her parents allowed her to accept the ‘boy’s’ friend request and kept an eye on their conversation. At first he was friendly to her. Had he not been, her parents would have terminated the friendship immediately. However, it is likely that because this persona was at first a friendly one that Megan gradually trusted it and was even excited by the fact she gained the attention of a ‘hot’ boy online. This is also why it would have hurt so badly to have him turn on her in such a hateful and malicious way and why, for a girl that had already had problems, it drove her to suicide in the end.
It was a matter of chance that Megan’s mother had been pressed for time leaving with Megan’s younger sister for the orthodontist as Megan began reading the horrible things this boy was saying about her. During a phone call Megan made to her mom crying, her mom urged her to log off immediately. Her mother returned to find Megan having said some mean things back to those that were being cruel to her as she ran away from the computer and up to her room. It was there, in her closet, that Megan hung herself.
What may be the worst part of it all, after their daughter’s death, Megan’s parents let the girl with whom Megan had once been friends with know that Megan had really valued their friendship. This family offered their condolences, invited Megan’s parents to their daughter’s birthday, and even had the Meiers store a Christmas present for them. It was only after another neighborhood girl came forward as to having known about the fake account that the Meiers found out who was really the person behind the boy that was so hurtful to their daughter. Now they had not only lost their daughter, but had also been ‘played’ by the family who had instigated their loss in the first place. The county prosecutor is now looking at ways to try to press charges in the case, while others infuriated with news outlets for protecting the name of the family involved decided to search it out and publicly publish it for all to see.
As far as cyber anthropology goes, this incident could have far reaching effects as Megan’s parents are trying to get laws enacted to protect children from harassment online. It will be interesting to see where this goes and what the trickle down affects are. I’m interested to hear other opinions on this and will continue to follow this story as it unfolds in the press and in the law books.
November 21, 2007 @ 1:47 pm
Thank you for posting more information on the dynamics between the families. The more I read the more I realize just how deep the duplicity runs in the offending family. This internet hoax can’t be a one of a kind/one time thing.
I have a great interest in relational aggression from a healing standpoint and blog about it, and at first, I thought this was a case of relational aggression and lack of boundaries that we see with greater frequency – fathers going ballistic over “bad calls” by coaches and the like.
But I would think anyone who shows no remorse and can put on such a show, even of being gracious, has got to be somewhere in the realm of narcissistic personality disorder.
I believe in freedom of speech, but I also believe this went beyond a person’s right to express themselves. There are laws to protect people from slander and libel.
And what about the photo of the boy they showed to Megan as Josh?
Was he in on it, or was he a victim who had his photo lifted? If so, were any of his rights violated?
You know, what people find most heinous about this is that it was instigated by an adult, but Megan didn’t know Josh wasn’t real. The fact is bullying can be excruciatingly cruel, and what you can’t do in cyberspace – punch someone in the eye – you make up for in psychological cruelty.
I hope this opens up a lot of discussion as to how we can balance rights and responsibilities, and also, have us take a closer look at cyberbullying, the problems it causes – the lives it’s taken, and without the contribution of adults.
Maybe this time, we won’t diminish it.
» When cyberbullying goes too far… :: Cyber Anthropology RELATIONAL AGGRESSION and COVERT BULLYING:
November 21, 2007 @ 2:01 pm
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